


coruscant ballet academy

by joleashitsthetic



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, F/M, Reylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:08:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23219767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joleashitsthetic/pseuds/joleashitsthetic
Summary: The Coruscant Ballet Academy made theirs tests to choose the last group of future students to its audition. Rey, Finn and Rose is some of the dancers ready to face a year of classes with some of the greatest masters of the ballet as Leia Organa, Amilyn Holdo, Phasma Christie, Poe Dameron as the new teacher, and the legendary Luke Skywalker, who is returning to prepare one of the ballets of the workshop performance at the end of the year which will decide their careers. Rey is ready to be in focus and she is confident that there is nothing that can distract her… Except for one of the oldest and best dancers of the company: Ben Solo.watch a cuteedit trailerfor this fic
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 25
Kudos: 97





	1. plié

_Jeté_ , _pirouette in attitude_ , a _développé_ followed by a _cambré_ , to complete with a batterie of _échappé_ , _tours en l'air_ and a _grand jeté_ before finishing.

The reflection of the auditorium's stage lights reflected in the sweat on Rey's face. She felt her heart racing in her chest as her brain begged for more air, and even her toes throbbed in pain with the muscles of her leg and her arms, but she couldn’t show it on her face. There was only a smile, a blind eye by the lighting and the waiting for the symphony to subside so she would be allowed to leave the stage.

As soon as Rey managed to see the fingers of one of the jurors on top, she hurried to make a brief bow and headed for the stairs so she could join the other finalists in the last phase to join the Coruscant School of Ballet.

In total there were twelve members who, each year, were accepted to dedicate themselves for one year to the school's year-end workshop - which opened not only the doors to other ballet companies in the country and the world, but also invited some of the best students to join the Coruscant Ballet Academy -.

Some of fifty students.

A few of the new ones, and many more of those who was already of the school.

This was one of the biggest challenges for Rey. It was never about overcoming her obstacles during the years she faced as a ballerina. She fought hard, for several years she trained alone with several recordings of ballet classes she had found by herself; she won her first pointe shoe through a donation from her former tutor; she used the same pointe shoes for four years at a time when her money was counted, and she worked since she was thirteen in the dance studio next to her house managed by the unbalanced Unkar Plutt, because only then she would get space and money for her constant training. And now she would be competing with students who had classes with the best teachers in the region, all of whom she admired so much and who were practically her biggest idols.

Was she prepared? She couldn't tell in which way. Rey was really good at what she did, she knew how to make sure of that, and technically speaking she had been highly praised, even when Master Aayla Secura praised her axis at one of the auditions, but the dance went far beyond technique. Last summer she also remembered the last compliment she took for her stage presence, but it was from an older woman who had just watched her performance.

When one of the organization's men called her to the auditorium seats, she already knew she was in. She knew since the minute she was in that last audition. The steps had been impeccable, clean, and there was no cut that she felt in the music. The confirmation only came to leave her with a doubt that she had been waiting for since she entered this journey: Was it due to her technique, her presence, or for lack of better options?

"Good morning." The prepotent voice came as an awakening. When Rey flexed her eyes to see better, she quickly forgot about her internal conflicts and focused on listening to the woman who invaded the center of the stage where she danced a few minutes ago.

It was Leia Organa.

"Welcome to Coruscant. For those who don't know me, I am the principal Leia Organa. I will ask you to raise your hands to answer the next questions. Which of you was the best dancer in the last class he or she took?"

As soon as she asked, some students timidly threatened to raise their hands, without first looking each other to better see who would take the initiative. Gradually, at least 80% of them had their arms up. Rey didn't raise it.

"It's a heady thing, isn't it? Being the best. Teacher dote on you, other students ask for your help, and an aura builds and then you get accepted into CSB. And whether or not you admit it, you start thinking it's just a matter of time before you're doing _Esmeralda_ before packed houses in Naboo Center. For most of you, that will never happen."

Suddenly, many of the smiles that Rey was not paying attention to were slowly fading, but she was well aware of that kind of speech, of how she should or should not face the facts from now on: the same way she faced her whole life: by fighting.

"I don't say this to be cruel," she continued, "I say it to help you clarify your expectations for the year ahead. If you work harder, every day than you've ever worked in your life, this school will turn you into the best dancer you can possibly be. That may or may not be the kind of dancer I have room for in the Company. At best, I can take three boys and three girls." Leia cleared her throat, and finally Rey was already feeling herself in the mood of a real academy. "I'll be watching you carefully over the coming months, but I won't be making any decisions until I see how you dance in the workshop performance, at the end of the year. They won't be easy decisions to make because you're all very talented. You wouldn't be here if you weren't. And fortunately there are other companies around the world who will be excited to watch you."

"How are these roles selected for each of the students in this workshop?" Rey asked, more to herself than anyone, but it was embarrassing to realize that she had spoken so loudly that the girl on her side heard. Thus, she pretended she actually directed the question at her, and she smiled when she noticed the girl received her question with a contagious smile, so Rey felt obliged to greet her. "I'm Rey, nice to meet you."

"You can call me Rose, Rose Tico," she whispered so as not to disturb the teacher's speech, "all the teachers will watch us in classes for at least one semester, that's when each of them will organize themselves to choose the corps that they prefer according to what they have saw. It is these teachers who create their own choreography for those students they have chosen, and it can vary from the main role to a part of their ballet's corps, so to stand out it is vital to win the heart of some of them to get at least the main role."

"Any questions?" Leia asked.

From the other corner of the auditorium a boy hurried to raise his arm, and Rey and Rose were not the only ones to observe:

"Will the First Order Academy also be part of the jury committee?"

Rey didn't quite understand why that question made everything in that room seems completely uncomfortable. The students were relatively anxious, even the teacher looked stunned by the young redhead's doubt. However, he seemed to be the only one pleased to have asked such a question, with a somewhat exaggerated smile.

"I'm pretty sure you are aware of the current events, mr. Hux." Leia replied, with such a stance that it made Rey curious to know why they were all subtly astonished, which for a minute she missed because she was quick to change the subject. "Tomorrow will be the presentation to open the legitimate year, we invite everyone here to attend and contribute to the gala party that will follow shortly thereafter. I hope to see you all there. Thank you so much for contributing with us, and I wish you all a great year."

* * *

"Who was the orange head?" Rey asked as she and Rose surrounded the endless corridors of the establishment responsible for the dorms that were floors above the cafeteria.

From the smile Rose gave to her, Rey imagined she was asking a naive question.

"That was Armitage Hux, an asshole who has a strange fanaticism for the First Order, from what they told me. They took a long time to figure out that his father was one of their biggest sponsors." and as soon as Rose noticed the scandalous question mark forming on Rey's face, she interrupted her steps to check if it was really what she was thinking. "How much do you know about the First Order?"

"Basically everything you've told me so far."

"Girl, where have you been all these years?"

"Improving my pirouettes."

As soon as Rose nodded after laughing at her sarcasm, they went back to looking for rooms:

"All you need to know is that the First Order was a highly acclaimed academy, and the important part of this is that it was one of Coruscant's biggest competitors... Same location, best teachers, bigger performances and a fierce dispute for the most talented ballerinos. On a random day, it was reported that the academy would interrupt its activities and it would close for an indefinitely time. Only after a while people found that the principal, Snoke Serkis, was reported for harassment and violence and sexual abuse against one of the students. Then many other cases broke out, and there was no way to keep it."

" _Oh_ , that's me." She interrupted Rose when she saw her room number. "Could you wait for me to have dinner?"

Rose nodded, and when the two entered the room that Rey would stay in, they met her two roommates: Kaydel Connix, who was already a student at the school, and Jannah Calrissian. _"I am Rose, this is Rey, and you are cute"_ came from Rose to Jannah as soon as she met her, making Rey completely ashamed of her flirting. As soon as they left, Rose said that this was the first time she had met the daughter of one of the academy's sponsors, Lando Calrissian, and she made it clear to Rey that Jannah's reputation was not pure nepotism because she was an exceptional ballerina.

When they passed through Rose's dormitory, Rey was able to meet Rose's sister, Paige Tico, who left her impressed by imagining that two sisters could practice the same profession in the same environment, but at first impression they seemed extremely close to each other. As such, Paige accompanied them to dinner, and then Rey said goodbye so that she could have her first night's sleep as a student at the Coruscant School of Ballet.

* * *

The first challenge for Rey on the Sunday morning before the performance was to find a dress from Connix that would fit her. After many arrangements, she managed to debut a much larger neckline than she expected, but was happy to see much of her legs covered - at least _they_ were -.

Rose, Paige, Connix and Jannah joined her, as did a friend of Rose's named Finn who was also part of the school's new selection of ballerinos. While they were adjusting on the sits inside the theater, Finn shared stories of the auditions with Rey, Page and Jannah, and about the fear he felt when he thought he was going to be left out, but they had to interrupt the talk because the show had already been quick to get started.

After a brief ceremony with some speeches by Leia Organa, they watched a lot of acts with many dancers from the company. The solo made by a ballerina named Enfys Nest and an exciting duo between Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso called her attention, which Rey has admired a lot since she was fourteen. But nothing had called her attention that much when they announced a group performance with, to which she was able to count, twelve male dancers, and a funny comment from the new friend at her side:

"It's the prince's show time." Finn commented, with a smile on his face that made his comment seem too ironic.

It didn't take too much for her to identify the "prince". In fact, it was a little hard for Rey to be able to focus on any other dancer who was not the main ballerino (who was dressed as a knight).

His choreography was so contradictory because she saw it so gentle and heavy at the same time. He was like a fallen angel, flying while a hook dragged him back to hell. For a moment she wanted to ask if her new friends were having the same impression, but watching him dance gave her the same impression as a sleep paralysis: she was completely mesmerized. And even when the spotlights fled from him, she saw him in the dark, and she would even be frightened to imagine seeing him through from the side stage, if she was not as absorbed in him as she had never been in any presentation she had seen.

And it all seemed like a simple admiration, between jumps and steps, but there was a movement that caught her eye, which was exactly the moment she considered that he was really looking at her. Even knowing he was on stage. Even knowing she was on the upstairs seats. He was looking at her.

And then he spun.

He turned perfect fouettés, while his head was spinning so perfectly that he didn't let stop the look between them, so fast that she didn't even realized that he was actually spinning.

That's when she felt it. Just below the heart, in the pit of the stomach, an unpleasant call that seemed to mix the heavy feeling of a panic attack with the warm dizziness of low blood pressure. For a moment, the theater environment was too hot and the lights were too fast, but the knight's eyes doesn't let her to check if everything was okay with her. It definitely wasn't, and only for that reason she had to break the eye contact between them.

When she excused herself to escape between the chairs and leave the theater in the middle of the performance, makeshift excuses came out of her mouth to justify her leaving for her friends. As soon as she got to the emergency exit door, it was like breathing after spending minutes underwater. The air in the lobby filled her chest with immediate relief, bringing oxygen back to her brain and pushing any discomfort that had come to her seconds ago. Rey took a deep breath, looked for any seat and sat down to manage her thoughts in a better way. _What had happened?_

She hadn't eaten anything suspicious in the past forty-eight hours, drank plenty of water and thought she would have a worse night's sleep than she had. She couldn't blame the theater either, since she had been there for more than an hour and she didn't even find anything there that could do her harm. She just couldn't think that maybe, for a ridiculous reason, her body reacted so strangely to that man. Nor would there be why. And yet, she found him so intimidating that his "gaze" crossed her body...

"Rey!" The moment she heard her name, she followed the voice to find the only person present in the lobby besides her, easy to recognize because there was nobody there besides the two of them. "I'm glad you're here. I need you to do me a favor." It was Amilyn Holdo, coordinator of the academy, bringing a flower arrangement with her as she approached Rey. "I won't be able to go through the dressing rooms after the presentation because I need to go to right now to the party hall. Can you deliver this to Jyn Erso?"

The distraction was so quick that it made Rey let out a subtle smile. Maybe because she hadn't even asked why Rey was out of the theater in the middle of the performance, but also because Holdo left without even waiting for her confirmation. In any case, it was what relieved her of those stressful minutes that she passed, because the performance was finally over and she now needed to move to the dressing room before going to the party.

Passing through the crowd of guests heading from the theater to the hall (which were in the same building) was less complicated than identifying the backstage entrances. It was the first time that Rey had known that theater, and to be honest she didn't visit so many theaters during her journey as a Plutt student. She only performed thousands of times at the Niima theater because it was part of Plutt's school, but nothing compared to a structure like that. The white linoleum shone, made even the eyes burn, while Niima's were changed only every two years, dirty and full of patches. The curtains were huge, in shades of crimson with gold embroidery on the edges and in many points in the centers. In Niima it was a single black cloth that was left out for about seven years because a child has pulled and broken the upper support. And what impressed her were the stairs she had to take to get to the dressing room, and it was just one of the dressing rooms because there were several, on every floor. Nor were there more than one floor in Niima.

When she found the double door to the dressing room she was looking for, she thought about knock the door, but at the same moment one of the couples she saw performing opened the door and walked away distractedly as they talked. It was her cue to enter the dressing room and witness a huge, practically empty room. She noticed that there was someone behind one of the mirrors, but she couldn't quite identify if it was someone she should know. What really relieved her was to recognize Jyn Erso, alone and also preparing to leave the dressing room.

"Jyn Erso?" Rey asked politely as she approached.

" _Oh_ , hi!"

The ballerina gave her a tired smile, and Rey noticed that she had already changed her clothes, made her hair and completely changed her artistic makeup to a basic one. She was still as beautiful as Rey used to see her.

"Amilyn Holdo asked me to give you these flowers."

"Are you here from the academy?" She asked, curious.

"Just a student, I joined the workshop at the end of the year."

"Thanks." Jyn reached for the flowers in Rey's arms, supporting the shoulder strap of her bag on her shoulder. "Welcome, and good luck, I hope to see you here next year."

"Thank you." Rey smiled, and barely had time to assimilate the conversation with one of her favorite ballerinas because she had already gone through the door and hurriedly left the dressing room.

As soon as she headed for the door again, a heavy voice paralyzed her steps:

"You are the girl who left the theater."

 _Excuse me?_ She thought.

For a moment she considered ignoring it to make sure it might not be that he was talking to her, but she couldn't help the urge to turn around to make sure it was that person behind the mirror who was talking, and it was definitely with her.

"Sorry, I don't get it."

"When I was doing my solo. You left the theater. Why?"

When he got up, she was able to confirm that that voice came from the same man who hypnotized her, performing in the presentation she had just watched. She imagined how impressive it was that she had considered to be him before she even saw or heard him.

Even now, from a distance, he was still as intimidating as she imagined, and his question surrounded different corners of her brain for her to assimilate. Not only because she returned to the state of trance that she was in with him before, but because it was a completely unusual question and opened a way for several thoughts: _How did he know that I had left the stage? Was he really looking at me? Why did it bother him?_

"I think…"

"You think?" He approached.

Somehow he knew he was in control. He felt the vulnerability in her, not because it amused him, but because of all the times he was intimidating, this was the first time that it caught his attention.

"I needed to go to the bathroom." She lied, too fast.

Which could be a good or bad answer, but it was the only one she had. The only at least plausible.

This time he got even closer, measuring her like a costume designer. He was absorbing all the details of her, her posture, her clothing, the signs of her body, her body...

"What academy do you come from?"

"Not academy. School." She replied, with a bouncy smile because it was the first time she was mistaken with an academy ballerina. "Jakku Dance Studio."

When he smiled, she forgot for a second that she didn't understand why. It was surprising to see it after the tension she had seen inside him since she saw him dance.

"What is so funny?" She asked, without measuring the degree of invasion of her question.

"I saw your final audition. You got the final batterie, I can imagine in Jakku they didn’t have ballerinas as good as you, but you still have problems with your turnout and your stiff shoulders." He commented without taking his eyes off her. "Probably the reason why your last pirouette was hard to finish."

Rey subtly dodged his comment. Maybe because it was just as bizarre as his previous question, and because she considered it too invasive, completely out of the occasion. It was the first time that she felt the connection between them to break, and she only knew how to react in one way:

"Thank you, next time I will remember to ask your opinion."

As soon as she finished speaking, she looked away from him because she didn't know how to measure her words before speaking, but she knew they were real. She just didn't know if they needed to be said. And as she noticed that he continued to stare at her (who knows whit what reaction), she smiled to say goodbye and turned to reach the door, that's when Rey felt his arm reach the door before saying behind her:

"Your seat was in the right of an exit that gave access to the bathrooms, but you left through the top door."

When Rey noticed the man's insistence, all she wanted to do was burst out laughing and wait for him to say something that made sense. Only she still felt too engrossed in his thoughts about her. It was like deciphering a puzzle, and she was so intent on trying to explore that she had no time to call him out.

She just didn't answer. She had no excuse to give him, and she would not waste time making excuses, because somehow she knew he was not curious about her answer. He just wanted to provoke her. Then she turned and opened the doors, but this time instead of interrupting her, he just threw another question in the air, loud enough for her to hear and stop again:

"No flowers for me?"

"Not today." She replied, with a weak smile after looking back at him.

But before she left for the party, he answered her back:

"Don't worry. I already got what I wanted."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first reylo fic
> 
> i'll try to update in a short time interval, but i can't promise
> 
> inspired by the movie center stage
> 
> if you speak portuguese, there's a translated version i'll update together: http://bit.ly/3b8pqV9
> 
> i'm a ballerina, but i'm not familiar with the english terms of ballet, i've tried my best and it will be so good if someone notify me about some wrong term
> 
> english is not my native language, so please i'm sorry if there's any brutal flaw, please notify me ♡
> 
> i'm @adamdrivor in twitter, come talk to me!


	2. cambré

A gala ball.

A giant party hall surrounded by hired waiters from an outsourced company, ballerinos and students from the academy, rich guests in expensive suits and dresses, and tables covered in white and gold towels, orchids and dishes with foods that would never be eaten. That's because dancers almost never eat anything, and rich people usually likes to waste. But that wasn't how Rey saw it.

It was the first ball she witnessed, one of the parties so well publicized by the academy, with several sponsors, lovers of the ballet world and great names in dance.

That's where she should focus: in distributing the pointe shoes signed by Ahsoka Tano that they have give to her so she could distribute them through those guests for them to buy it (as well as all the students were guided to collaborate with the party), socialize with other dancers from the academy and get to know a lot more of a world that she knew so much and so little about. But she knew it was not quite as she had planned.

She hadn't planned on going out of focus so soon. It wasn't like a tremendous distraction, only that somehow deep inside she knew that something had already bothered her...

_"Oh."_

When she let out a weak scream after bumping into someone she hadn't seen at the party, the first point to prove that she had indeed lost her focus was realizing the victim was one of the academy's advisers. "I'm so sorry!"

Rey approached the man to convince him of how embarrassed she was, especially because she noticed that she had interrupted a conversation between him and three other guests.

"It's all right." The smile the man gave her was more comforting than noticing his company.

Beside him was a man much older than all of them, with a tired smile and a suit that was worth more than Rey had managed to earn her entire life. Soon after, a second man, a little less old, but wasting a much more malicious look than all of them. And beside them all, the knight "prince". He was the most complicated for her to face, because it was even more shameful.

Shameful because she was completely out of focus after watching him dance, after leaving his performance because she felt uncomfortable to see him, after meeting him in the dressing room. After everything he had said to her, what she had said to him.

And it was as if he could hear her thoughts. She felt as if he knew that he somehow commanded her thoughts. _Stop following me_ , she would say if she could, but she well knew that it was she who was following him.

"I hope you're okay." The man said. "Gentlemen, this is..."

And a long pause.

A pause that she understood that maybe he didn't know her name.

"Rey." She helped him.

That was Dryden Vos. Rey had heard a lot about him. He was not part of the academy's faculty, but he was part of several classes and he create a lot of performances, and he was always very close to Coruscant's activities. His biggest characteristic, besides his arrogance and ulterior motives, was his face marked by some vertical scars that crossed it. Rey never researched very well about its origin.

"Rey! One of the new students from our school, am I right?" Rey nodded. "I'm sure you will be an exceptional ballerina. At least the most beautiful you are, for sure."

"He tries to sell so many things from the academy that he forgets he can't sell real people." One more time she felt the prince's voice when he invaded their conversation. "She is not a hooker, Vos." He said.

His comment caused an uncomfortable situation between Dryden and the two men who were beside them two, but more especially for Rey. Not that she disagreed with him, she just didn't want to be involved in any drama he was part of.

"Kylo Ren. Always so ironic." Dryden Vos disguised the discussion, offering them a smile that also reached Rey. That's when he rested his hand on her shoulder. "Welcome, Rey." And Ben was just as displeased to see that hand as Rey was to feel it.

 _Kylo Ren_. _Was that his name?_

When Rey withdrew from the conversation to continue distributing the pointes from the basket she was carrying, she swirled what she heard over and over in her head. Dryden Vos had called him _Kylo Ren_. It was a bit too strange a name, and a lot more flashy than she might have expected. Something that stuck in our head, just like him.

* * *

"We're going out to get some air, I need to smoke. You come?" Finn nudged Rey in the shoulder after countless minutes they spent surrounding guests, dancers and teachers.

Rey nodded and reached for his arm to follow Rose, Connix and Jannah to the back door that gave them access to a small and open corridor, with some trash cans and other employees who worked that night and were also enjoying their free time of the day to get some air too. 

As soon as Finn and Connix lit a cigarette each, Rey found a place to sit and Jannah leaned close to Rose, which made the girl a little happier, in Rey's eyes.

"Where did you come from, Finn?" Jannah asked.

"I was from the First Order. _Yes! I know_ , all the drama and blah blah blah." He replied as soon as everyone stared at him, including Rey, who now knew about the story. "I was close to everything, luckily at that time I was already applying for the Resistance scholarship program provided by Leia to prepare students for the academy. It was what many of us did at that time, we all took aim here after what happened there. No wonder so many rumors happened here, sometimes it is difficult to disagree with so much coincidence."

"Why?" Rey asked.

"Because of Ben Solo."

When everyone agreed with that answer, Rey realized she was the only one with a brow so furrowed that she felt the muscles in her forehead hurt.

"He was in a while in the First Order." Rose continued Finn's story, knowing that her new friend was not very updated on Coruscant's dramatic life.

"So?" Rey questioned again.

"He is the son of Leia Organa." Connix interrupted them.

"The fact is that the girl who reported Snoke was none other than Ben Solo's ex-girlfriend at that time." Rose completed.

"Ben was so furious." Jannah continued. "My father was the first to look for him in the First Order. Ben entered Snoke's office and they argued. In the middle of their discussion he pushed Snoke to the floor and punched his face so many times that they had to take him to the hospital. Snoke was practically deformed."

"It was when rumors arose that he had only signed up and entered the First Order at the request of his mother to cause any action that would make their academy weaken." Rose commented.

"Leia would never do that." Connix said.

"Neither Ben." Jannah completed.

"Whether it was true or not, he immediately left for another country and spent the summer at the Alderaan Company." Connix continued. "They say he even changed his name so that no one in the press would bother him. They called him Kylo Ren."

 _Kylo Ren_. _Was that "Ben Solo" they were talking about?_

"He stayed there for a long time, until he came back this year. And he didn't speak to almost anyone."

"He talked to me." Rey answered him.

Silence.

It was not an uncomfortable silence, but a silence of astonishment, which was only ended because the emergency door was opened and Phasma appeared, making it impossible for them to ask Rey anything about Ben at that moment:

"I thought Leia had made it very clear that she needed everyone's help inside the hall, and not talking here outside."

* * *

She missed something.

When Rey bent down to adjust the tough nib of her pointe shoes, she confirmed that it were not about it. She had also remembered the hairpins sinking into her skull to keep the little hair she had in a bun intact. Her outfit was good, the black leotard she thought would look a little bigger on her body, but it had been the gift that her teacher Sabine Wren from Jakku had given her as soon as she knew Rey was going to audition for Coruscant. And it was the only one that was in perfect condition besides all her used leotards. Her pink tights couldn't escape, and she had to collect as much overtime as she could to buy three pairs. Still, they were there.

This was not what she was missing.

For a moment she thought it was the teacher, Qi'ra, who had just entered the room with a slight nod of greeting in order to maximize time. But she still had that feeling even after Qi'ra asked everyone to find a place on the huge ballet barres spread out in the classroom. Rey chose one of the smallest if not the smallest ballet barre because it was part of a room structure with a small depth in the wall of at most three meters wide. Rey liked to keep her space isolated without feeling the vibration of other people's movement in the same barre, but he preferred to think that he chose her because he was closer to her after he arrived at the classroom that morning. And she hadn't been the only one to think that way.

As she warmed her feet with movements at her pointe shoes, Rey felt the shadow of a ballerino who had approached the same barre as her. In her mind, there was something that bothered her about having to share the only small barre in their classroom while they were surrounded by huge barres, but she was surprised to see that she would probably get more stressed than just sharing a ballet barre.

"Punctuality is an obligation, Mr. Solo, not a requirement." Qi'ra commented as she positioned herself in front of the best viewed part of the room so that everyone could see her, but Ben seemed to ignore her as he positioned himself next to Rey and let out a hidden smile that probably only Rey could see.

And it was shocking to know that he was probably what she was missing earlier.

"Today we will start with _pliés_ , _demi_ and stretch, _demi_ and stretch," Qi'ra started explaining while demonstrating. "Full _grand plié_ , return, _port de bras_ forward, full _port de bras_ back, the same in first, second, fourth and fifth positions, and then we'll rise and take a _balance_ in fifth."

As soon as she waved for the hidden musician to roll his fingers over the piano in the classroom, everyone started to perform in sync as the teacher walked and watched student by student. If she saw something she could correct, she would go to the student and interrupt him or her subtly so that she could warn, show and help before going back to her observations.

The first _pliés_ were easy and practical, while she worked her turnout to support the weight of the thigh until she reached the floor, and then stretch gently. The _port de bras_ was ready to be executed, but Rey felt that there would not be enough space for her to do it without ending up slapping her chin on Ben Solo's ass. Not that she was making an effort not to see it in front of her.

She just took a step back. This had interrupted the flow of her exercise, but she returned in time to make her _cambré_ clean and connected to the _dégagé_ to start again.

Once again the _pliés_ were light and much more open, but when she felt confident to perform the _devant souplesse_ , Rey noticed that she would once again have her face against Ben's tailbone.

It should be a matter of notion of space, but was it just she who was exaggerating? Then she gave in again to take another step back, the last one she could take without her back being too limited for any movement. But the answer to the problem came later.

She made the pliés without a problem, but the _developés_ were limited and the _jetés_ were impossible to make without her feet "kicking" Ben, which at that time was her biggest desire since he didn't know how to move without occupying 90% of their barre. It looked like he did it on purpose. When she tried to perform a fouetté on the barre and became unbalanced by touching his leg, her limit was over and she interrupted Qi'ra by raising her hand high enough that she could get it over with:

"I'm sorry, ma'am, can I switch to another barre? I don't think this man is able to share a ballet barre with anyone."

She didn't wait long for the teacher's consent to move to the other corner of the room. Rey felt all the looks following her, but what she felt most was his, and she didn't even worry about it because she was too angry.

After the barre sequences were done, Qi'ra presented them with a diagonal with jumps followed by _pirouettes_ and a third with a lot of _jetés_. For Rey it was like exploring new conflicts and challenges when facing what would be her competition. It was all very unlikely. She knew what was best for her, but she couldn't say what was best for her compared to all of them. It was important that she focus on always exploring more than her limit, but it was much easier when she had at least one point to reach.

As soon as Qi'ra passed them a sequence of turns in the center of the room, she asked everyone to do it at least twice, and then she asked for their individual sequence so that everyone could see. When Rey repeated hers, the steps were well reproduced to what she thought would be a disaster because she was too tired to repeat. It was the first time she saw the teacher spend long seconds in silence before commenting as soon as she finished.

"Beautiful, but you need to concentrate on your turnout, and your arms are very stiff. Mr. Solo, please, can you help me demonstrate?"

As soon as Ben approached the teacher, she performed a single pirouette with his support, but without pointe shoes because she was wearing another type of dance shoes. After she made it, she asked Rey to do it again with Ben's support. _"You still have problems with your turnout and your stiff shoulders"_ , he had also said as soon as he met her, accidentally insulting her. Now she reacted as if it hadn't been on purpose. Only now.

At the first touch he placed on her waist, she shivered. She wasn't afraid, not for him, but it was like she was doing a _pas de deux_ for the first time, and she knew how nervous he could make her. She would have the excuse of saying she was nervous because he was one of the best ballerinos trained by the academy, letting her looks like an amateur, and who could disagree of her besides herself? Her body, completely shivering after feeling his breath land on the skin of her neck? Or her heart racing after he lightly pressed his hand to her oblique even when she knew his hand was almost the size of her waist?

When Qi'ra made the signal, she prepared to leave in the pirouette and finish in the arabesque that the sequence required. If it was perfect, she didn't know, but at least it hadn't gone wrong and the fright of Ben's firmness holding her go unnoticed. As soon as they turned, he had squeezed her much more than she could have imagined, not because it was a strong squeeze, nor because it hurt her, but because for an unexplained reason he made her hold her breath while she wished her legs were shaking by the force of the movement, and not because of him...

"Much better, but you're still making your arms stiff. Again."

Rey noticed how complex it was to assimilate all the requirements for executing the movement while focusing on improving her arms, which was already complicated in the situation she was there. She was never as tense as she was in his arms.

They repeated the movement.

"You made them even stiffer It needs to be gentle, seek firmness in the wings of the back and let it flow in your shoulder and arms. Again, please."

As soon as she prepared to turn, her support leg forced her ankle and threw her weight against her little finger, destabilizing her feet. When she prepared to fall, Ben held her in time to lift her up in an impulse that brought her body against his.

Too close.

Too close, letting her take her thoughts, not to the teacher who had impatiently turned her eyes away so they could jump to the next stage of the class, but to the thin scar that crossed his right eye that she only could see now. It was as if it was already part of him.

"Relax." He said, watching her observe his 'defect' with an expression as impatient as that of Qi'ra after seeing her fail. "I won't let you fall."

* * *

"I must confess that I'm afraid to take class with Phasma. Her reputation is that she's very rigorous." Paige told them while accompanying Rey, Finn, Rose, Connix and Jannah to one of the huge courtyards of the Academy building.

All of them were full of elements that could keep the area more inviting and relaxing for breaks between classes and rehearsals, for students and dancers (but this one rarely had time).

When they met again, they had already taken three classes after Qi'ra class. Unlike that one that was mixed, all the next ones were separated by the students' gender and also their levels. So, Finn was separated for his next classes with only men, Rey, Rose and Paige went to classes with the female students of their years (those who had entered the school), and Connix and Jannah joined the intensive training classes because they had been part of the school for a long time.

"I had class with her today. She is a terror!" Finn replied after they found a space with two empty couches.

"Which one of the teachers would you like to participate with in the workshop performance at the end of the year?" Connix asked Finn as soon as she sat on the floor. She and Rose were the only ones who enjoyed the carpet.

"I still don't know. I think I would want something new and less traditional. They said Poe Dameron's ballet looks different, but I'm sure Phasma will pull me into her piece."

"I don't know if I would be able to take him seriously." Jannah commented. "He's too young."

"What about you, Rose?" Finn asked.

"Maybe Leia. Her ballets are always well criticized, she lives up to her reputation."

"I'm accepting anyone who wants to accept me too." Paige shrugged and commented, and Rey had already noticed how she, unlike her sister, carried a heavy insecurity, which does not contradict her as a dancer. She was very good at being hardworking, Rey recognized that, a pity that was the only thing she was very good at. "The one that makes me good enough."

"I dream about participating in Leia's ballet." Jannah said.

"I must confess that I really wanted to try Holdo's ballet. But she rarely leaves the backstage to make a piece." Connix commented. "It only happens over in a long period of time."

"And what about you?" Finn asked to a distracted Rey.

"I always wanted to be part of a Luke Skywalker's piece."

"As long as I know he don't teach anymore." Rose said. "I doubt he'll still show up here, to be honest."

"Yeah, I know." Rey replied. "When I was young I thought he was a legend."

"What happened to him?" Finn asked, and Connix answered.

"Nobody knows, to be honest. Everyone says that Ben Solo was the last dancer he tried to be responsible for. Then everyone knows the outcome, it was the first time that Coruscant lost its best dancer to the First Order. I don't think Ben is a very easy-going dancer."

"He seems very grumpy." Rose completed, and as soon as Rey heard her, she snorted in agreement after rolling her eyes.

With that attitude, Jannah noticed and laughed a little louder than usual.

"I think Rey agrees a lot with you."

"He looks spoiled, if not worse." Rey replied while she was opening a tupperware with various fruits that she had separated to eat between classes, so Jannah commented right away:

"At least he held you and didn't let you go through humiliation today."

"Because he wants attention." She impatiently replied.

"Jesus, why so much hate?" Rose teased, with a malicious smile on her face.

As soon as Rey noticed that everyone was amused by her dislike for Ben, she gave in:

"I met him at the opening gala. Enough to draw my own conclusions. He had said that I have problems with my turnout, and he told me my arms were too stiff."

"Like Qi’ra said?" Finn teased.

At the moment Finn asked her, Rey had many other questions, but no answer to his question. She felt an uncontrollable dislike for Ben, something like a grudge that attracted him more than repelled him. And it seemed so obvious that the moment she decided to explain why, she didn't know how.

"Yes, but that was different." It was the only thing she knew to answer.

"Why?" Finn provoked a little more.

"POE!" Rose shouted, and that was what saved Rey from having to give some satisfaction.

A man relatively young to be part of the teaching staff and too old to be a student approached them as soon as he heard Rose. Poe (as Rose had called him) held her in the moment she jumped on him to hug him.

"I can't believe!" Incredulous, she came out of his hug and took the badge hanging from the man's neck to analyze more about delivery.

"I know. The next one could be you."

"I'm not even part of the academy yet."

After Rose, Paige was the next to get up and pass among the seated friends to greet Poe, but with a hug far less flashy than her sister's. That was when Rose realized that they were all watching them without understanding much.

"Poe and I used to be a duo when he was invited and spent almost all winter there at Canto Bight."

Canto Bight, according to Rose was the studio that she and Paige used to take their classes. Rey didn't know Poe (an excellent Coruscant ballerino who had joined the faculty) very well, but she already had saw Rose enough to consider her an exceptional ballerina, perhaps the best on the Academy's list of possible entrants.

"They opened a workshop this summer and I was here as an assistant to Holdo. At the time, the entire board at Coruscant was deciding on trying out a new scale project direct from an academy dancer. As soon as she saw me teaching in the workshop, she decided to put me as a suitor. When I found out, I already had a whole piece to think about."

"Have you got an idea yet?" Rose asked.

"Just some concepts that are still in theory, but I already know that I will not be able to choose you because I will want to end up dancing with you." He and Rose laughed, and then he was distracted when he looked at Finn. "You are the new transferred of the First Order, aren't you?"

At first Finn was impressed by the recognition.

"Yes, I narrowly escaped from being left out."

"I know. I was at the evaluation table, I was one of the judges. I supported your entry."

In Rey's mind, it was even funny to notice that there was something different between Finn and Poe. As if there was a bubble between them, bringing everyone else out of the conversation between them, even if it was at most a three-line dialogue, and when he turned to look, greet and meet the others, Rey was unable to stop the smile that she had given thinking about the two.

It wasn't a lot talk, but Poe brought a lot more fun to their conversation. In addition to telling several stories of his experience as a dancer at the academy, it became much easier to get to know a little more about the teachers and other dancers from his point of view. It bothered Rey the possibility of she wanting to ask about Ben, but she didn't have the courage and spent most of her time wishing someone would ask about him. It didn't happen.

Poe and Rose also told a little about the presentations they performed together, and they were so excited that they decided to demonstrate one of the most challenging steps they have ever had to rehearse, but as soon as Poe raised the girl to throw her on his arms, her leg ended up hitting someone who was passing by and didn't realize what they were doing. Poe released her quickly and the two turned to apologize, but Rey didn't understand why they stepped back until she recognized the victim. Armitage Hux. Rey remembered the name Rose had told her.

"I'm so sorry." Rose started, but he ignored her with a disgusting look that passed from her to Poe, to whom he directed his comment.

"They said the academy was formed with the best teachers." Hux teased Poe while measuring him from the bottom up.

And Poe was quick to answer him before he left:

"I'm looking forward to being able to teach your classes, Mr. Hugs."

"It's 'Hux'." Armitage corrected him, but Poe was already gone. "It will be the first opportunity that the academy will have to see a student overcome a teacher."

"And do you think you are the best option for any of them?" Paige said, without measuring her words before letting go.

It was the first time he noticed her.

"We'll know. If they prefer me than someone with pliers legs." As soon as he referred to Paige, he turned to look at Finn. "Or the traitor."

It was a moment when everyone was silent. Paige had a downcast look after Hux managed to offend almost everyone, unlike Rose and Finn that Rey would not be surprised if she saw one of them raise theirs arms straight in the whitish man's face.

But no one had anything to say. It was as if his words were so unbelievable, that they were all either assimilating to find the nexus within those words, or giving up so much to stoop to argue with someone like him. It was the time when he finally saw her.

"You must be Rey." And when Rey expected to receive another malicious and sarcastic comment, she was the one with no reaction. "Nice to meet you."

And he left.

* * *

Every piece of her body hurted.

The muscles, the nerves, there were cramps in her foot and her calf every ten minutes, hers fingers were swollen, her hip seemed to want to move and she had never felt so much tension in her neck.

Rey didn't complain. There was still a side of her that was concerned with whether that frightened feeling of experiencing a completely different routine was worse than the dismay of feeding the same one she had. She wanted to be there, and that was a fact, but she couldn't say whether her mental health could keep up with her wishes.

That's when she learned that there was a fine line between doing what she wants and doing what is good for her, perhaps because she had never been very good at choosing what she really wanted. She had already come face to face with the wrong decisions she wanted, but that were not ideal for her. Rey was really good at this: wanting what was worthless.

It was when Rey heard the noise of the emergency door that made her startle after spending minutes absorbed in her own thoughts on the terrace of the academy building. When she found that place, she did not imagine that she had been the only one thinking about finding a refuge like that among so many other people who passed and/or lived there, but she had a small percentage of hope that at least at that moment she would be able to stay alone. She even prepared to leave if she felt too uncomfortable sharing that place with someone she didn't know or receiving a warning from a night watchman, but it seemed too ironic to see that Ben Solo was the one who would rob her of her troubled thoughts on that cold night. She had a chance to pass by the opposite side and leave while he didn't notice her, but she preferred to lean back against the wall she had found to support her body and let him notice her presence.

That was Rey.

Wanting what was worthless.

His face remained the same before and after he saw her, save for a smile hidden in the cigarette in his mouth that he lit while approaching her, which was an absurd contradiction given how nervous she was. When he stopped close enough to her, he inhaled a good deal of smoke before speaking:

"It's prohibited unauthorized entry here."

At this stage Rey had already learned that sarcasm was a frequent tone in Ben Solo's dialogues. Which didn't mean he was good at that.

"I won't tell if you won't." She replied, differently than she would have replied if it were so days ago.

For a moment she wondered if she would have answered the same things the last time they both spoke, but at this time it worked, because instead of contradicting her he just laughed. He laughed softly as he leaned against the same wall that she leaned against and threw his weight on one foot, leaving the other leg stretched out enough for him to tuck his free hand in his pants pocket. This gave Rey time to get a better look at him.

"You can't smoke here." She commented. "And not that I care, but smoking will make your dancing time much shorter."

"What a bless, right?! An early retirement," that kind of answer brought another reflection in Rey's eyes. About his opinion about dance, the ballet world, what he has lived through and what he really thought about his career. _An early retirement, what a blessing it would be. Why would it be?_ What was in Ben Solo's mind to make him consider giving up of what he does? She wanted to ask. Suddenly she wanted to talk to him, while more nodes got together in her head about someone she thought she knew so well. But the comment made by him after that reminded her of why she resisted it. "but as once you said, next time I will remember to ask your opinion."

Rey laughed. Because it was too predictable, and because for a minute she considered that he was not exactly what he had just proved himself to be. She also laughed because it was fair. He was not wrong. So she continued following the path he was walking:

"It's bad, isn't it?! To listen what we don't want."

"I think you won't leave me alone until I apologize."

"To be honest I don't want your apologize." She laughed again, getting up. "I don't think that will change my perception of you."

"You _think_ you know me." He teased, watching her move from the support that she was to the front of him.

"I don't think, I know you."

"I'm cooler than you think."

"I don't question the character of those who walk with you."

"And still you think you know me. Just promise that you won't fall in love with me."

When she thought she could no longer be impressed, she gaped, looking at him in disbelief.

"What???"

"I don't think you can."

That was how she understood the reaction of Finn, Rose and the others to what Hux had said to them. Silence. She was trying to find any sense in what he had said to her, while refusing to respond to his comment. All she did was to roll her eyes, with a smile she didn't plan to give, and turn her feet to walk away. But once again he called her back, which was becoming a habit:

"Maybe that's the reason why you left in the middle of my solo. Either I was really bad, or you can't stand my presence."

Only instead of stopping she kept walking, and just turned her head to answer:

"No. Your solo was very good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can find all the ballet terms used in this chapter in [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWLy4IKgd1M), i wish i could've more time to specify, so i'm so sorry if its too confused! i can answer every question if you have one
> 
> watch a cute [edit trailer](https://bit.ly/2Xl8fff) i made for this fic
> 
> daily remind there's a version translated if you speak portuguese: http://bit.ly/3b8pqV9
> 
> and is always good to remember english is not my native language, so please i'm sorry if there's any brutal flaw, please notify me ♡
> 
> i'm @adamdrivor in twitter, come talk to me!


	3. jeté

"Last sequence!" Obi-Wan shouted. The last of twenty-five sequences of ten seconds in a side split, diversifying the positions of the hips and torso. 

Stretching and turnout classes were held every three days, an hour before the first company classes of the day, and it used to be the favorite class for those with good flexibility. Rey once had problems with the turnout of her hips, but now her turnout was beyond 180-degrees on both legs and her foot could reach almost all the parts of her body. It was not an unpleasant class for her, but Obi-Wan Kenobi's classes were hard for anyone, no matter what class he was teaching.

Obi-Wan was an extremely lively person. An exceptional teacher, but on the other hand, he was extremely rigid, demanding and sometimes even too inflexible. He was the perfect picture of that group of people who make up for one side of their personality to supply who they are, professionally speaking. He was an amazing person, and great company, but in the classroom he was a rough teacher who followed the most difficult path to optimize you as a dancer. And it almost always worked.

That was one of the reasons why Connix suspected that he almost never worked as a choreographer. He was always in the classroom, and no one ever saw him creating a piece.

"It's over! Nice job," and not to mention the terrible mania of screaming all the time. "Take some water and let's start the diagonals."

To make it easier, Rey had a separate towel that she used to dry her sweat in her classes, and she already had three water bottles in case one ran out, and she didn't have time to replace it. After she hurried to quench her thirst and relax her legs that were trembling due to the forcefulness of the stretches, she went to one of the corners of the room, to start a sequence diagonally across the floor. (that's because they are called _diagonal_ ).

"Please, one duo at a time."

Everyone followed the index finger that Obi-Wan pointed while selecting couples. Rey approached her chosen partner, whom the teacher called Quin-Fee, but as soon as he greeted her, she learned that his name was Razoo Quin-Fee. Next to her was Rose, and she noticed how her friend snorted as soon as Armitage Hux approached her, after being paired together.

"The _ballet queen_ ", Hux joked, causing Rey to realize how annoying that man could be.

At first she thought it was just a subtle feature, but it became easy to see that he was not a pleasant person. There were always the ironic, sarcastic, and mostly offensive comments, and he was never able to say anything that wasn’t like that.

"Don't bust my balls, Hux," Rose warned.

"You're gifted, and I'm talented. We make such a great pair." Rey overheard them talking.

"Talented?" Rose asked, with an involuntary smile on her face. "Your feet are not flexible, you do square pirouettes, your steps are too big..." 

" _Oh,_ there's so many things about me that are actually big," he whispered, and Rey hated being able to hear that as much as Rose did. "I know you don't want this. Apparently you prefer puss...

Rose shoved Hux away before he could finish his sentence. It was much weaker than Rose wanted, and she hadn't even hurt him, but it was enough to get everyone's attention, including Obi-Wan's.

"I want to change!" Rose shouted, before the teacher could punish her for her behavior.

He just sighed and as soon as he cast his eyes on Rey, her heart sped up.

"Okay. Tico with Quin-Fee. Rey with Hux."

Rey didn't protest, even though she wanted to. From the look she received from Rose, she knew that her friend was sorry for letting her go through this, but Rey was much more patient and tolerant than Rose. She approached the laughing orange-haired man and took a deep breath as she began following the sequence that Obi-Wan was demonstrating to them.

As soon as he finished, the duos began to arrange themselves in a sloppy line to perform what he had shown them. Rey thought she was going to get rid of Hux's comments, so she positioned herself behind another duo and realized that his mouth wasn’t shut just yet.

"Rey," he whispered, loud enough to get her attention and low enough to avoid Obi-Wan’s. "Rey who?"

"No talking," Rey replied to him, as if quoting a school rule.

"But it's important for us to know each other, right?! Dancers need to get to know each other, make contacts, keep up with the social pace of the studios and academies.

"This is ballet, not a talk show. While you're here you're not responsible for your day tomorrow, nor for the people who will accompany you then, so be willing to be alone, don’t get attached and then you will be able to adapt with anyone, anywhere," that was the first time she looked at him. "But I highly doubt that you will be good at this."

"So far you have been reluctant to share the stage with both Ren and me, yet I am the one bad at this?"

 _Ren_. Why did he have to include him in the conversation? What did he know about her relationship with Ben Solo?

"You still don't know who I am on stage, whether I’m with someone I like or not. As I said, it's ballet." Suddenly she felt the urge to delve into personal matters, the same way he had done. "And don't pretend that your relationship with him is the best."

It was like what Rose had told her while she was updating her about the dramatic life at the academy. Ben and Hux had never gotten along very well, but Rose was unable to confirm in detail why. Maybe Rey was curious about that.

But Hux knew how to dodge a question, and Rey didn't want to prolong that conversation any more as they approached the front of the line,

"Ren and I may have our differences, but years of living together has taught us to work, collaborate and share."

"Share?" Rey asked.

"The same piece. The same stage," he moved closer to her ear, "The same girl..."

_The same girl?_

"HUX! REY!"

As soon as Obi-Wan called them, they prepared and began the sequence. Hux was not a bad dancer, but Rose was right about him, especially as part of a duo. In addition to having no sense of space, Rey felt that he tightened his grip on her too much when she needed his support, and he always hit her during the turns. Still, she managed to do every step perfectly, and everything came out in good condition. Until when they went to finish with a _grand jeté_ in which Hux was supposed to hold her upper body, but when she went to jump, she released her weight in a way that he was unable to keep up with, so when her foot returned to the ground, she accidentally tripped and staggered forward.

"Careful, Rey!" Obi-Wan called.

As soon as they arrived at the end of the new line that was forming so that they could do the same sequence on the left, she frowned and complained:

"You were supposed to hold me!"

"I gave you the support, you should have done the step," Hux snapped, and then he turned to her. "Do everything alone, isn't that what you said?"

* * *

The only free time Rey found was after dinner, which discouraged her even more after spending all day in class after class. She hadn't managed to have enough time to have lunch without hurrying, she hadn't taken a shower since her first class and the adrenaline that remained was gone as soon as she finished her dinner plate. What encouraged her was finding almost all of the classrooms empty, so she was able to choose the one she wanted.

After she adjusted her pointe shoes, she quickly stretched before going to the center of the room. She chose the room because of the lack of outside sound - along with the isolation being almost perfect, it was the furthest from the dorms.

Rey liked to claim that her private practices were focused, a time when she distanced all her thoughts and focused only on everything she practiced, from her steps, to the movements that needed improvement and extra attention. But today she was not quite like that.

Since she entered the school, she hasn't been like that. And this was not at all her plan, which worried her much more.

It had always been an ability of hers, to notice when she was losing control. It scared her as much as imagining alternatives so she could get back to the routine she always had.

She had some excuses. She had never thought that she would perfectly understand the routine of someone at a ballet academy, especially the routine of someone who is facing a competition to enter it. She knew that everything could be a surprise, and that she should be prepared to be flexible in the face of what might happen, but the other side of her forgot to remind her that she was talking about classes, bureaucracies and the limits of her body, not about someone in particular.

That was what worried her the most. She was not prepared to face the complexity of her mental health in addition to everything else that she had to face, plus her feelings for someone else. At this point, she could say that Ben Solo messed with her, with the best and the worst of her, and who could prepare her to deal with this want to live in that mysterious attraction that she felt every time she had to face him?

Then a shiver blossomed over her shoulder.

When Rey came down, she looked back exactly to where the wooden door with a glass support at the top remained closed. She spent a few seconds observing that transparent square that would've left her vulnerable if someone was outside the room, and on an impulse she hurried to reach her things and decided to finish her training later, running with quick steps to return to her dorm room, with the pointe shoes still on her feet.

She was pretty sure someone was watching her.

* * *

The seconds that Rey had to accept that she did indeed need to enter the room were quick. She urgently needed to give Mon Mothma her documents to complete her registration for the winter festival, and there was no other time that she would be able to find her. Even though at this time...Mon was training with Ben Solo.

As soon as she opened the door, Mon's eyes found her as she turned to see who had entered the room. Rey saw a smile form as soon as Mothma approached her, knowing what it was about. But that wasn't exactly what Rey was focused on.

Ben Solo hadn't looked at her.

He continued dancing where he was, in the center of the room, performing a combo of steps that Mon Mothma was observing before. She was one of the art directors, responsible for that winter's festival, which is why she would probably be reviewing some solos that Ben would be presenting before Rey interrupted her.

And yet she hadn't caught his eye. Not a look to the side, much less an expression irritated by her interruption, or a smile on his face that would climb the back of her neck like a cold wind. Nothing. He hadn't realized that she was there.

"Miss Rey, I'm glad you found me."

"Here they are, Mrs. Mothma. You can return my documents later."

"No need! You should wait here, I'll go to my office to make copies, and I'll bring them back."

"But..."

And so she left the room, without even letting Rey protest. It would be... complicated to have to wait for her alone.

_Alone…_

There wasn’t even music, and Rey could only hear the noise that Ben made when his jumps were too loud and his foot hit the floor, making it vibrate after the sound of its impact echoed in the room. When the room became quieter, she could even hear his labored breaths. It was almost like a song, and Rey spent long seconds listening to it uneasily as her eyes followed the tracks he left while dancing. The line of shadow drawn by the details of his body, his white blouse transparent with sweat and glued to his torso.

Regardless of what Rey might or might not have shared in her short and intimate contact with Ben, she could never deny that there was a heavenly beauty to his dancing.

She couldn't escape.

And as soon as she found a small chair to sit on until her documents were back, Ben stopped his training. It was the first time he looked at her. He started to approach her, not giving her any chance to think of some excuse to get her out of the awkward situation.

"You are so quiet. Do you like the view?"

"I'm a quiet person." She answered him, less outraged by the audacity of his question than by the fact that he knew she was there, different from what she thought.

Rey once again wore the same sarcastic expression that Ben used to use on her, but she was unable to hold it after Ben approached her, after he bent down to be at the same height she was. So close that she could see the enlarged pores of his sweaty face, the dimple in his cheek when he smiled as crookedly as he did now. She couldn’t react. Until he walked away.

She was about to ask why he reacted the way he did, but right after that she saw the water bottle in his right hand that was not there before. She realized she was sitting right next to his bag.

There was no reason for him to take that bottle the way he did, but she wasn't complaining.

"I didn't realize you were here for so long."

"Stop lying. You love it when people watch you dance."

As soon as he finished swallowing the rest of the water in the bottle, he laughed. Not a smile, but a real laugh, with bared teeth. A sound that Rey recorded in her memory.

"You're right. I'm better at being watched than watching someone."

"Since when have you been able to watch someone dancing, other than yourself?"

"There's always a time when a dancer needs to start exchanging the stage for the classroom. Since I started teaching, I have realized that I am better at dancing than teaching."

There was a small towel on top of one of the ballet barres that Ben moved away to reach form while Rey's thoughts went to Poe, the other dancer who was becoming a teacher. They were still so young, and yet Rey couldn't help but think too much about the fact that she was just starting a career that Ben was already approaching the final stretch of.

 _Don't do that_ , Rey thought, but before she could listen to her own thoughts she stood up, catching Ben's eye as he wiped his sweat.

"Show me."

 _Yes, I am asking_ , she thought. He knew that she wanted to prove to him some of what he had to offer as a teacher. She had taken classes with dozens of teachers with different personalities, and for a moment she imagined that she would never be able to know what Ben Solo was like as a teacher if she didn't take that chance right now.

Before he could refuse her, she left her bag on the chair and exchanged her sneakers for ballet shoes, ignoring any discouragement that might come from him. But she knew that would not happen. Suddenly, Rey knew a lot of things related to Ben and his decisions. It was quite contradictory. She somehow knew so much, yet nothing about him.

As predicted, he headed for the ballet barre closest to them, waiting for Rey to position herself in front of him. As she prepared to listen to him after getting ready in position, she felt Ben's gaze fix on her for several long seconds. When she opened her mouth to demand that he start, he interrupted her:

"Let's play the truth game. First position, please."

Rey obeyed him, even though she was uneasy about his proposal.

"Why?" She laughed. She used to hate talking in classes, but here she was laughing.

"Because I'm Hannibal Lecter. I like to absorb information from people I'm helping."

"I don't need help."

"But you're bored. And Mothma's office is on the other side of the building. It will take her some time to get back here."

She couldn't deny it. Rey agreed, and after he showed her a sequence of _tendus_ , he nodded for her to begin.

"Why Coruscant?" He asked.

"Oh, are we playing right now?"

"Why not?"

She stayed in silence, thinking of her her answer as she tried to concentrate on her exercise.

"It was the first thing I ever knew about ballet. When I was a little girl, I found videotapes of Leia's performances."

"Drag your foot across the floor." He bent down beside her to help her shape her foot. "Your turn to ask me."

There was no reason for her to repeat his question back to him. It was quite obvious that he had chosen his mother's dance school, regardless of other factors influencing him. So she had to search her thoughts for her doubts about Ben Solo, to find something decent enough to ask him.

"Why did you come back?"

Ben stood up to face her, but Rey was too focused on observing how his countenance was, even though she felt that he had become more vague after her question.

"I still don't know." He was quick to answer her.

When she finished the sequence of exercises, she finally looked at him, considering his answer fair enough even if it was too short, and a little too sad.

Turning to repeat the sequence on the left side, she waited for Ben's question:

"Which one of the teachers' pieces would you like to be in at the end of the year?"

That was an easy question to answer.

"Luke's piece."

Without first remembering his story with Ben.

As she noticed the conflict in him that she might have generated, she ignored the accuracy of her exercise and looked straight at him, noticing a shuttered expression. She decided to change the subject:

"Why _Kylo Ren_?"

"Release the tension in your arm." He asked, putting a little pressure on her shoulder. "I'd never liked using _Skywalker_ in my name. My mother always preferred to carry the Amidala Organa legacy, but suddenly everyone was calling me _Skywalker Solo_ . While I was in the First Order, the other students liked to tease me, so they mixed the two names together and shortened it to _Kylo_. One day we opened a performance, with the soloists of the First Order performing as the knights of Ren, as I played the protagonist.. He ended up getting used to calling me that. Kylo Ren.

"Your father?"

"Snoke." When did the conversation become so dismal? 

"That night you said you knew me. What am I?"

It was the first time that she stopped the exercise, fixed on the darkened look he held on her.

"Less than you can be. What would you ask me if you knew my answer would have to be 'yes'?"

Unlike what she thought, she didn't take him by surprise. He was just as focused on it as she was.

"Give me a chance to prove you're wrong."

If Mon Mothma hadn't come through that door at that second, resulting in her picking up her documents and leaving while Ben continued to work on his choreography, she could have sworn she would have kissed him.

* * *

The subtle sounds of the moccasins that Rey wore were stopped by the carpet as soon as she entered Rose and Paige's dorm to give them a spare key that she needed to leave with Rose. Even being careful to not produce a lot of noise, as soon as she entered, she was received by an awake Rose with her finger over her mouth, asking for silence. Rey freezes.

"Please don't wake her up." Rose whispered, pointing to a sleeping Paige.

As soon as Rey saw her, she carefully placed the key on top of the dresser and waved them both out of the room instead of trying to move inside. When they were both outside, they went down a corridor until they reached a bright and completely empty area, finding two gray sofas next to a side table, and a machine that Rey used to make a cup of coffee.

"What happened?" Rey asked.

"Nothing, but it seems like Hux's words messed with her." Rose replied.

Suddenly, Rey remembered Hux insulting Paige. He had called her _someone with pliers for legs_ , She knew that Paige was aware of her limitations, making the insult even worse.

"Is she okay?" Rey asked, reaching for her small, hot disposable cup so that she could sit next to Rose.

"It's just too much pressure. I don't judge her, I have a stiff neck from all the tension that I went through these past weeks."

"If they accepted her at the academy, then they know she can be good."

"They saw something in her, it's different."

" _Margot Fonteyn_ didn't have great feet." Rey argued, trying to minimize the situation.

"When Margot Fonteyn was onstage, you couldn't tear your eyes away from her." Rose interrupted her. "Paige is hardworking, beautiful, and she loves to dance. This is what makes her different on stage, this is what they saw in her, but all of this is taking that away from her."

"Are you afraid they will expel her?" Rey asked as she hugged her legs.

"I'm afraid she'll get hurt."

"And it's okay to feel that way. You have the right to feel sad and worried about it, but this is a struggle that she needs to face by herself."

As Rose looked at Rey, she saw that her eyes were wet. The face of someone who cared, who loved her family. Something that Rey never had, and she couldn't deny the twinge of envy she felt.

"I just want…"

A violent noise interrupted Rose, making them both startle..

"What was that?" Rey asked. Rose shrugged, and both stood up.

The two were close to some training rooms that were smaller than the rooms they had classes in, but it was a great relief to remember that they were not on the first floor, where they could be susceptible to a robbery or the like.

When Rose saw Rey approaching the source, she whisper-yelled at her receding back, trying to stop her friend's curiosity. She swore under her breath, and followed.

There was a single open door, with the moonlight coming through the window inside the room pouring into the hall. Rey peeked in, but once she saw that the room was empty, she walked in with Rose right behind her. The right side of the mirrors was broken, with splinters of glass covering the floor. The mirror had broken at a single point, with cracks spreading from that spot.

"I think we should get back." Rose said nervously, and for the first time, Rey agreed.

The two walked back to their dormitories and went to their beds in silence, with no comment on what they had just seen.

* * *

It was not difficult for Rey to try to draw some conclusions while being distracted by a thoughtful Ben Solo at the beginning of Thursday night's class. She had already gotten used to the fact that he no longer made her nervous - in both ways - especially in the classroom. She had already realized that his presence had become more comforting than his absence. When he was not there, she didn't find that she had as much energy to go through her classes, and it just became another day. But in his presence everything would change. Rey felt more challenged, with an air of anxiety that made her stomach turn, and made her feel like she was on a real stage while she was in class. She wanted him to see her, she wanted to see him impressed with her, and as much as she knew that she was not supposed to get satisfaction from his opinions of her ability, she wanted to get his approval. It bothered her to know that, but she would only lose more if she didn't confess it, once and for all.

Her eyes were fixed on the man's movements as he adjusted his clothes as they waited for class, especially on his hands. His fingers were red, especially between the joints, when Rey saw bits of clotted blood on three of them.

As soon as Rey had left her belongings on the shelves besides the front door, she approached Ben. When he noticed her arrival, she held out her hand for him to see that she held a tube of some pharmaceutical product, judging by the appearance of the package. He realized that it was an ointment.

"I think you might need this." She offered, and as soon as she subtly waved at his hand, he flexed it, giving her a weak smile that Rey knew was a mask.

"I'm fine. Thanks."

"Did any wall hurt you?" She asked, challenging him.

She didn't mean to bother him,, but Rey wanted to be able to side with her judgments. As little as she knew Ben, she knew that he would not lean towards anything that was not comfortable for him to say to her. She just hoped that she was right, because she judged him wrongly the last few times.

"I box." He answered, quick and calm.

After frowning, Rey caught his eye as a delicate laugh accompanied her boldness in gently pulling Ben's injured hand into hers. There was a bit of fear on his part, but she could feel that he trusted her as soon as his hand relaxed over hers, even though the rest of her body was completely tense.

Even though he denied needing it, she insisted on applying some of the gelatinous medicine over his hand, rubbing it gently into his skin as Ben stiffened at the icy contact of the product - but mainly from her touch.

"When I was young and in Plutt's care, it was very common for me to witness some of his... outbreaks. Especially after dark. We lived in the same small condo after he accepted my guardianship, so I always heard him coming home. He always smelled vividly of sweat and alcohol. There was a lot of noise, often from his screams, or from the objects he broke, or threw at the wall. There was always a door to fix after he threw himself against it while drunk. And I always ended the night taking care of the wounds that he neglected, after he hurt himself again." Ben watched her like a curious child, listening to a bedtime story, but he went back to tensing his body as soon as Rey showed him that she was finished. Before letting go of his injured hand, she reached for the other, completely healthy and without any scratches. "Usually you box with both hands, don’t you!"

"You ask too many questions, Rey." It was the first time he had called her by her name.

"No." She answered him, involuntarily looking at his lips. "Maybe, but once while drunk, Plutt broke into the studio and broke some mirrors. So I know how to recognize a hand that’s been injured after breaking one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading it! comments and kudos are always welcome here ♡
> 
> a special thank you for lia [@starsxhidexyourxfires](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsxhidexyourxfires/pseuds/starsxhidexyourxfires) for helping me translate this one, i'll never know how to thank her enough for this ♡
> 
> watch a [cute edit trailer](https://bit.ly/2Xl8fff) i made for this fic 
> 
> daily remind there's a [translated version](http://bit.ly/3b8pqV9) if you speak portuguese
> 
> i'm @adamdrivor in twitter, come talk to me!


	4. arabesque

In a crowd of people there was a woman with golden curls walking with a big smile on her face. She was being followed by at least twenty curious dancers. She was laughing while they were all trying to pry under a pile of paper she was holding against her chest to prevent anything from being seen before she hung it on a news board in front of the reception. When she started to hang all those papers next to each other, one by one, the commotion grew and automatically all the people nearby followed the line looking for their names somewhere among all those lists.

When Rey slowed her steps to observe that organized turmoil, she already knew what would get all that attention. She had also gone there to look for her name on that list. It was the Autumn Festival.

As soon as she completed her enrollment at the beginning of the academic year, they had instructed her about the events that all students would attend until the workshop. It was a small festival, a small demonstration of the student's talent and something to prepare them for the final presentation. What made it so important was the audience of teachers and principals who always attend it in order to prematurely choose their favorites to evaluate at the end of the year.

As Rey was approaching the crowd of people until she couldn't get enough space and had to sneak between spaces to get closer and closer, she was noticing the faces of everyone who found their name and reacted to what had been prepared for them. She saw lots of smiles, some of them were laughing out loud and she even saw some people who weren't even showing any kind of emotion (she couldn't understand if they didn't like the results or they actually didn't really care), but she didn't see anyone explicitly disappointed, which filled her with hope.

At the same time she was asking, she managed to find Rose in her path coming back from the news board, but when their faces met, Rey offered her a smile that was not returned. And that at first made her sad:

"I'm doing _La Esmeralda_ , with Qi'ra."

Now Rey was scared. Because La Esmeralda was a great ballet, and it was going to show the great ballerina Rose was. And she was going to perform a solo, with Qi'ra, a teacher she considers a lot. There was no bad news for her.

So Rose continued with that sad face not because of her results, but probably because of Rey's results. That made her smile disappear.

Rey quickened her steps until she was where Rose was before, which helped her to find her name faster. And Rose was absolutely right.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me."

She spoke to herself, seeing her name right above the name of Armitage Hux.

* * *

"Which one of them chose you two? I didn't have time to look for."

"They didn't mention any teacher on that list," Rey replied Rose, walking with long steps while her friend was trying to follow her after they left the building's entrance. "They just left a note right below asking me to consult Holdo."

"Any guesses?"

"No clue. The only teacher who saw me with Hux was Kenobi, and he doesn't do pieces."

"Maybe he finally decided to touch some grass this year."

"He wouldn't choose the only duo in his class who failed in an exercise."

"Maybe it was the only one left for him."

Rey was thankful that they had finally arrived to Holdo's office so she wouldn't have to give Rose a sullen reply for making herself wonder if she really was the last choice for the Autumn Festival.

As soon as Rose sat down, Rey approached one of the ladies to explain that she needed to see Holdo according to what was on the list. She thought she would have to wait, but the friendly assistant guided her to Amilyn's office, and when she opened the door, Rey noticed that she was already busy.

She would think she was interrupting something if she hadn't automatically noticed Hux's face, standing in front of Holdo's desk, and beside him the unexpected Dryden Vos.

"Miss Johnson," Holdo caught her attention as soon as she saw her. "We are receiving the Dance Council in our institution. Fortunately, we are honored to invite a board member from outside the academy to create a new ballet by their choice."

"If I may complete you, I think this will be an amazing project." Hux said, with an enthusiasm that only he and Dryden Vos seemed to share in that room, especially when Rey felt a sadness in Holdo's words.

"Mr Hux has already met him, so let me introduce you to your new choreographer for the Autumn Festival: Mr Vos, Dryden Vos." Holdo said, giving space for Dryden to share with Rey a smile that made her really uncomfortable.

"I already met her earlier."

* * *

It had been three weeks since the announcement of the Autumn Festival roles. Rey also wanted to blame the amount of the classes they were having, especially because she was feeling that there was always something in each class she was having that was letting her even more tired, but to be honest all the meetings with Dryden and Hux were the true responsible for her destroyed mental health. Dryden was rude, manipulative, always prepared for bullying sessions that were pushing Rey's body to the limit. Occasionally she saw Hux and Vos yelling with each other, but it was much worse with Rey. When Hux couldn't hold her in the middle of the dance, it was Rey who needed to be lighter and jump higher. When Hux was invading her space in the middle of the choreography, it was Rey who needed to be careful about where she was stepping. Even when Hux was failing with the choreography or couldn't reproduce it, suddenly for Dryden it was an ugly part of the choreography and he changed it in Hux's favor, and then Rey had to work harder to get the new part first because it was "unacceptable for a dancer to have so much trouble learning something so simple". Dryden had asked her what she was doing in that academy so many times that she was starting to ask herself the same question.

"After all, what ballet are you two going to dance?" Jannah asked.

Rey's smile disappeared when Jannah reminded her of the nightmare she was going through, the nightmare she planned to forget in the minutes of her day that she was not with Dryden Vos or Hux.

Both she and Jannah, Rose, Finn and Paige were sitting over a thin veil that they had stretched out on the top of the building, enjoying the icy breeze of a clean, dark sky.

"It's an original. I was terrified wondering if Vos would want to write a romance, but someone heard my prayers and apparently he decided to create a ballet that he calls _Star Wars_. It's the story of a brother and a sister who together try to fight against a dictatorial government on several planets from several galaxies. It's kind of crazy, the plot twist is that the villain is actually their father."

"Hey, the spoiler! I really wanted to watch it" Finn complained.

"It seems to be interesting, different from what we usually see in most ballets" Paige said.

"It would be better if Hux wasn't an idiot and Dryden wasn't a son of a bitch."

"Is he going hard on you?" Jannah asked her.

"He's being ridiculous. Most of the days I don't really know what he wants. I've never been under so much pressure as he puts me through."

"And we thought Hux would be the worst of the situation," Rose said.

"Hux is not in a better position. He's the worst person I've ever had to dance with in my entire career. I really don't know how long I can take it."

"Do you think you can handle the festival?"

"It's not a bad choreography, but I am sure that I will be forgotten and I will not be the focus of any academy."

"Don't say that."

"Guess what I found!" Connix interrupted Finn as soon as everyone noticed her.

There were three bottles in Connix's hands that Rey automatically identified as alcoholic drinks. She didn't seem to be the only one to notice it because Rose was quick to grab one of them with a happier expression than Connix herself.

"Let's get drunk!!!" Rose yelled, opening the bottle.

"It's the middle of the week, we have classes tomorrow," Paige reminded them.

"We have classes everyday. We deserve this," Rose replied.

"Come on, guys, we need a break," Connix helped her.

"I don't care," Jannah grabbed another bottle, "I need something to make me forget Leia's shouts in my ear during classes."

As soon as Finn looked at Rey, he realized that she was distracted by the urge to turn that bottle over in her mouth and Kenobi's class she would have at nine in the morning the next day.

"Usually I wouldn't encourage anyone who had an appointment the next day to drink..." Finn started talking to his friend, after taking the bottle that Rose had already opened and had taken several shots before giving it to him, "... But you need a break, peanut."

Finn turned the bottle over in her mouth and made a funny face as he swallowed the clear liquid that Rey now identified as a cheap brand of vodka. He then gave it to her, nodding so that she would stop thinking too much before turning her head and pouring the drink into her mouth, letting four sips pass through her throat like a burning fire of acid that scraped everywhere inside of her stomach.

* * *

It hadn't been a long night. It hadn't been a long sleep either, but one of the deepest ones she had, even if it only lasted one hour. As soon as Rey woke up she noticed that she was still drunk.

Of everything she remembered, Rose and Kaydel were the first to lose control. Paige didn't drink, and Jannah was drunk enough to have fun and still hold Rose's hair while she puked in the bathroom of one of the dorms.. Finn and Rey took the longest, but as soon as the alcohol went to their heads, both had difficulty even getting up from the floor - especially her because she slept on the top of the building -.

For a few seconds she tried to think of some excuses for missing those morning's classes, but her head was spinning so much that she began to imagine Obi-Wan Kenobi punishing her for her absence and writing a letter of disapproval to any academy that would try to hire her at the end of the year. So all she had to do was take a cold shower, swallow the largest amount of water with an Aspirin and a plate of cereal that she managed to find in the cafeteria.

She hadn't talked to Jannah or Connix since she woke up, and she hadn't yet found Rose, Paige or Finn on the way to the class, so she only managed to find them with less than a minute to start their morning class. Kenobi was already there.

"Please kill me," a swollen-and-half-open-eyes Finn whispered to Rey when she approached a place right beside him, knowing that despite the joke, the friend was being honest.

"Warm up!" Obi-Wan yelled, causing them to give a little jump of fright.

The teacher was calling her out more than he used to do in other classes, but this time he had a point. Rey was out of focus, trying to stay awake and doing her best not to throw up in that class or pass out from a headache. And yet, everything seemed so funny, even Kenobi's little scolding.

She was not the only one. It was so hard for her to hide her laugh every time Finn accidentally bumped into her. She was also hearing Rose and Jannah's laughter across the room, and Connix apologizing the sincerest apologies every time she accidentally hit the student next to her trying to do _jetés._

When they went to do the sequences in the center of the room, everything seemed much worse. Kenobi gave them a sequence of _pas de deux_ and she suddenly saw Ben Solo beside her as soon as Kenobi asked them to make duos. At one of the jumps, Finn shivered as he held Jannah on his shoulder and she fell and bumped the couple beside them.

"I'm sorry," she asked, but Rose was the first to laugh.

"Careful with them, you break it, you bought it," Connix said while they both were laughing, and not even Rey could keep her from laughing.

"You smell good," she said to Ben, low enough so only they both could hear it.

"I would like to say the same about you now," he frowned, but she had so much alcohol in her blood that he could get drunk with her sweat.

"Enough!" Obi-Wan Kenobi shouted, "you five, come here."

As soon as he approached, there were only Rey, Finn, Jannah, Connix and Rose in the center of the room because all the other students had moved away.

"God. When you show up to class unprepared to work, it's an insult. Not just to me. To your fellow students and to the school. I will report this to Leia. Get out of my class."

And that scene would have been a lot more humiliating if she hadn't been in the mood to laugh.

* * *

Seventy classrooms for all of them to clean. Rey would like to be in the current state of when she woke up because maybe she would be having fun or at least not paying so much attention when Holdo and Leia warned them of the irresponsibility of, according to them, "to get blind drunk". In that speech there was something about them not disapproving the consumption of alcohol and even encouraging students and dancers to have moments of entertainment, as long as it did not affect the school activities. Except that Rey's headache and physical-and-moral hangover inside that room with that many people and many shameful thoughts were focused only on not passing out on the floor.

At least that physical sensation would go away, her body would rehydrate, her blood would be clean and she would have a healthy sleep. The mental sensation would never go away.

On the one hand she was completely embarrassed, about everything she had heard from Kenobi in front of all his classmates and about everything she had heard from Holdo and Leia, how it would affect her performance and her reputation at a time in her entire career that she should have been more concentrated and focused. On the other hand, she no longer knew how to analyze her development, not after everything that was happening because of the Autumn Festival. She also tried to regret it, but it was one of the only moments she had a really good time that week and her head belied the premise that she wouldn't have done it all again.

Still it was kind of hard being positive when you had fourteen classrooms to clean. As soon as Holdo transferred the division bureaucracies so that they could divide the detention among the five, all of them were seen with their heads down straight from Leia's room to the cleaning closet in order to start their tasks and finish before the night. Rey thought differently. She went to her room, drank a whole bottle of water and set her alarm to wake her only in time for dinner. As soon as she woke up, she found an old pile of clothes and went to eat some salad and a small portion of the only potatoes that caught her stomach attention. When she had access to the cleaning closet, she managed to split her time to the fourteen classes in order to finish before her usual bedtime.

In the last room she was already exhausted. Her feet were swollen, her muscles were screaming and she could no longer feel her hand and arms, but she thanked herself for being on the final part and promised never to swallow a sip of alcohol for at least forty-eight hours before any scheduled class.

Rey dragged a chair so she could reach the air conditioner, but as soon as she balanced herself she realized it was not high enough. She managed to reach the sides, but with great effort her hand only came close to the edge of the upper part of the device. Rey thought about going downstairs to ask for a staircase, but it would take a long time and if she left that last room she probably wouldn't be back.

"Are you okay?"

"Fuck!" Rey shouted as soon as Ben asked her, "you scared the hell out of me."

Sometimes she wanted to ask if he was following her, but she liked it when he suddenly appeared, spontaneously. She could at least pretend that fate was trying to tell her something.

"I'm good," she finally answered him, looking up and still thinking of some plan that would help her clean that damn air conditioner. "Why?"

"The whole situation with Ben Kenobi. He is not usually the most graceful teacher, but I may confess I never saw him so angry."

"And I have nothing to say," Rey showed him a weak smile, "he wasn't wrong, that's life."

"It's a great way to start a career in a ballet academy," Ben teased her, and even though Rey was already getting used to his sarcastic personality, she was too tired and depressed to feed it.

"Please..." She asked, with a cry in her voice that silenced Ben.

It was fun to argue with him. She just didn't want to do it right now.

It took Ben a long time to react. He had worn an uncertainty while searching his mental dictionary for something that could respond to her reaction, but underneath those ironic and sarcastic answers there was nothing prepared to comfort Rey, and she was not much of a looking-for-a-shoulder-to-cry-on person so she just disguised her red eye and tried to reach the machine again.

"Need any help?" That was all he was able to give.

When she turned to look at him, she recognized that he was bigger than that plastic chair and maybe it could be useful for her, so she nodded.

As soon as he approached, she thought about some position to help them both, but years of dancing made them intuitive and without thinking he hugged her legs and lifted her so easy that she felt safer in his arms than on the chair.

She rested a hand on his shoulder and successfully raised her arm to the place she wanted to reach, cleaning the machine with a soft dry cloth to dry it out from side to side and making sure that she had wiped away any fragments of dust that had been there before. When she risked going a little deeper and going a little higher to pull a small remnant from an old spider's web, she noticed that she was already putting too much pressure on Ben's shoulder. She started to shake, and she noticed that he started looking for better ways to hold her. One of his hands remained around her joined thighs, but as soon as the other held her torso at the level of her rib, she felt a sharp pain. That was when a shout came out of her, and the fright they both took made Ben have to drop her to the floor, a little heavier than he had anticipated, but safe enough that she could return without getting hurt.

Ben even thought about asking if she was okay because he feared he had hurt her, but a shiver silenced him as soon as he felt her so close. She forgot to notice how good his smell was, but she had already said that to him earlier in class. She wanted to believe it was the only thing that was making her mesmerized, and she knew the answer. There was something about him. Something that drew her like an anchor, leaving her a dizzy vision, butterflies in her stomach and the inside of her thigh begging for his fingers. Maybe if she tried to kiss him now she would still have time to blame the alcohol, and she knew that there was nothing in her body now but water, blood and desire.

She would be the first to make the move while they were bathed only in the moonlight through the glass windows, and the silence that did not even cover their breathing, warming each other's faces. She would be the first to make the move, even though he was staring at her mouth for a few seconds, and even though his hand had made a light path through her back until it reached her neck, and even though his fingers were pressing the back of her neck to bring her a little closer, while his other hand threatened to fall from her hip to where she well knew.

She would have been the first to make the move if, after all that, they hadn't heard light footsteps approach the two of them.

At first Rey thought it was a shadow, but when Ben turned to check what had interrupted them she was able to see a man. He was at a considerable distance from them, even though he was already inside the classroom, and it took a long time for Rey to see a face there even though she didn't recognize it, but she felt Ben. He had stiffened as soon as he turned.

His entire body was paralyzed by what she could feel, and he flexed the fingers that were still clinging to her. On the one hand she liked to see that he hadn't let her go, but on the other she felt like he was trying to protect her.

Until he dropped it. All his attention was no longer on her, but on the mysterious man leaning on a wooden cane right next to his body.

As soon as Rey noticed that this was not her business and that she probably shouldn't be there anymore, she turned to collect all the cleaning products to take with her, and when she was leaving, she managed to get close to that man and understand what had in fact transformed a charming moment into a disgusting environment. When she recognized him, there was no longer any doubt.

It was Luke Skywalker, in the flesh.

* * *

The calendar stuck on the dormitory wall that Rey shared with Kaydel and Jannah became her big enemy. She got stuck in a dark feeling when she looked at it because it always reminded her of two (contradictory) things: either the week was always slow enough that the weekend never came and she didn't have to face Hux and Dryden for two days, or the year was going too fast and they were getting closer to the end of the year workshop and she was nowhere near having evolved everything she thought would evolve, which was even funny because whenever the weekend came, she didn't have the strength or spirit to have fun and forget the next week she would start all over again, until the day Kaydel gave her a brilliant idea after talking with her about some classes that Kaydel participated years ago in studios near to the academy building. She searched for a list of studios that offered unique classes and registered as soon as she was able to be alone to call. She didn't want to hide it from her new friends, but she was aware that all students were prohibited from taking classes outside the academy and that was a risk that she wanted to take responsibility and take on her own. At least that way she would have a chance to recover the love she had for dancing and that she feared losing.

Rey ran to the building's entrance as soon as she finished her last class on Friday, eating a fruit while making her way to the Maz Kanata Studio, a school hidden in a block covered in tall buildings. Luckily she was already dressed with her dance clothes, so all she had to do was find a water cooler to fill her water bottle and put on comfortable pants while she got rid of her tight bun for a little ponytail. Since she had opted for the contemporary class, she wouldn’t have too much trouble with the outfits and she didn't want anything similar with ballet.

Despite that, fate was ironic, and she had to ask herself four times if she wasn't part of a rom-com as soon as she saw Ben Solo in the same room as she was.

"Really?" She whispered as soon as she saw him slide towards the teacher, an extremely smiling woman who did not hesitate at all to jump towards Ben and fill him with kisses on his cheek, giving Rey a vision that she rarely saw of him.

Rey hadn't seen him since their last meeting. She was even surprised to find him earlier than expected, especially after trying to imagine what Ben and Luke Skywalker had talked about. She also hadn't mentioned it to anyone because Luke hadn't been seen at Coruscant for years, and she didn't want to be the first to start unwanted rumors, but it was so strange to find him as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't seen one of the people who had caused most conflict in each other's lives, and as if he and Rey weren't in such an intimate moment before Luke appear.

Rey even tried to look towards her belongings to see if she still had time to pick them up and escape the class, but she only had time to hide behind the other dancers and pray that Ben wouldn't see her in the back.

There were only two moments when their eyes met. Not that Rey thought that otherwise he hadn't noticed her. They performed several sequences, and she rarely had the chance to do it with him, all the other times it was she doing it and he watching it from a distance waiting for his turn to do it. One of them was during the warm-up and he looked at her through the mirror, when she thought he had a little fright because he forgot to continue the choreographic sequence. The other was towards the end of class, when she was improvising a sequence and found him looking at her body as soon as she finished. When he looked her in the eye she thought that maybe he was admiring her dance, after all it was the only time she was alone and he couldn't look away from her to look at all the other dancers, but as soon as she looked in the mirror again she noticed that she was wearing one of her shorter leotards, a piece of fabric that covered only her breasts and some parts on her belly, leaving her back and ribs in plain sight under a lace dark. _Maybe he thinks I'm hot_ , she thought, until she noticed that there were several bruises just where he was looking before.

* * *

"You ready?"

Dryden went through the door and crossed the room, asking her in a friendly tone that she would have believed before.

Rey finished adjusting her pointe shoes and approached the center of the room without warming up because she already noticed how stressed Dryden was when they didn't start the rehearsal as soon as he asked, so she always warms up before he arrives.

"Where the fuck is Hux?" He asked, looking for the class they were in to see if his best student appeared, but even Hux didn't get rid of Dryden Vos' impetuous attacks.

This time even Rey couldn't help him. It was rare to see Hux late, and she even wanted to let out an internal smile with the possibility that they would not be able to rehearse without her partner, but she knew that she would be the one to suffer from the anger he had begun to show since he saw that perhaps Hux would not appear so soon.

"I'm here."

When Rey saw Ben Solo go through the door, her heart melted. She didn't know how to answer why he had appeared, what he was doing there, but a sudden urge came up to stop him and ask, _please don't leave me here_.

"Ren?" Dryden was confused.

"They move up the date of Hux's solo at the National Dance Meeting, so he and other students who were scheduled had to attend today. Leia asked me to warn you, and that I will be accompanying his play as a substitute."

"Substitute?" Dryden asked, a little more peeved than before.

Even Rey was surprised. Ben Solo, one of the greatest dancers in the academy subject to substitute for a small piece, what was not fitting there?

"I already know all the plans for this piece, and you need a substitute anyway."

"I don't need you," Dryden challenged him.

"It's direct orders from her, unless you want to call Leia Organa and teach her how to run her own academy. "

Nothing came out of Dryden's mouth after he spent a few seconds thinking of an answer. Rey had seen the conflict between them since the party, and she had also seen how arrogant and sarcastic Ben could be, especially with someone he didn't seem to like very much.

"You have ten minutes to show him all the sequence," a furious Dryden pointed to Rey before leaving the room with his cell phone in his ear, and it was the first time she felt excited after weeks of rehearsal.

When she asked him to approach her, she showed him a sequence that Ben asked only to repeat once, and as soon as he started executing it for her to see if it was right, she decided to comment:

"I know we are not allowed to take classes outside the academy..."

Ben interrupted his choreography and looked at her, confused by what she was trying to tell him.

"I didn't know about this, plus I don't care too much," he answered it before restarting.

She took a deep breath, a sigh that released her worry about whether Ben had reported her for Leia or Holdo.

After she showed him all the sequences for him to memorize, Dryden had returned and they showed Ben a few jumps to train them, more annoyed than Rey used to see him, but much less threatening. Ben's presence somehow blocked his behavior.

"This is not right," he shouted from his chair, "I'll demonstrate."

When Dryden gave the signal, Rey stepped forward and gently jumped on top of him, and as soon as she was stabilized in the air Ben could see her trembling. She had no security with Dryden, but who would? The moment she passed to the second position when she jumped on Dryden's arms almost on the floor, she felt the same pain she had felt when Ben helped her clean the air conditioner. In the same place that they both noticed the bruises, and that was where Dryden was struggling to hold her. Even Ben could feel the girl's aching countenance to endure that heavy, shaky step, and he knew something was wrong, so as soon as Dryden released her for Ben to repeat, he prepared to find out.

Rey repeated the same procedure, but as soon as she went from top to bottom, she got scared and ended up dodging to the ground shortly after they had made the last jump, the same one she had just made.

"I'm sorry," Ben was worried, helping her to get up, "did I hurt you?"

"No," Rey replied, startled exactly because she hadn't been hurt.

And that was what had astonished her. He didn't hurt her. Not the way Dryden or Hux used to hurt her when they do the same steps.

"Will you be able to do something right by the end of the day? It's the fifth time you've missed that jump." Dryden shouted and Ben saw Rey shrug.

He couldn't handle that anymore.

"Repeat the jump, please." He asked, and it took a long time for Dryden to understand that Ben was talking to him.

"What?"

"The jump. The sequence Can you repeat it?"

Rey even imagined that Dryden would question him again, but he decided to try and she did not hesitate to comply with the request that Ben had made. And she did it again, shaking, aching, but this time amazed to compare the way he lifted her and how Ben lifted her.

"It's wrong," Ben blurted out, without censure.

Both Rey and Dryden looked at him, and Vos was more mazy than her.

"It's wrong. If you keep doing it you will hurt her even more."

"Is it wrong? Who the hell do you think you are talking to?"

"I'm talking to you. This step is wrong, you need to teach it right."

"And should I accept the petty opinion of a little piece of shit like you?"

"It's exactly what you should do," Ben replied, as calm as if he were talking to a child, unlike Dryden's face that Rey noticed getting more and more red.

"Get the hell out of my class."

"Professor..." Rey tried to interrupt him, but Vos ignored her and she felt more confident of following in Ben's footsteps than she was before, "calm down, this is a classroom."

"This is MY classroom."

"You were hurting her and I'll not tolerate you continuing to teach something that could harm a student at this academy. If you have any problems with this, I'll ask you to report this to Holdo, if not, we can return to the rehearsal," Ben approached Vos, but this time he smiled, "that was the most polite warning I could give to you, but if it's still not enough, I can summarize it and say that I'm going to twist your fucking arm until I can shove it up your ass if you keep hurting her in this garbage that you call your _choreography_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry for taking so long to update it, my life was a whole mess but i'll try to update it as soon as i can
> 
> thank you so much for reading it! comments and kudos are always welcome here ♡
> 
> watch a [cute edit trailer](https://bit.ly/2Xl8fff) i made for this fic
> 
> daily remind there's a [translated version](http://bit.ly/3b8pqV9) if you speak portuguese
> 
> my twitter is @pattinsondriver, come talk to me! ♡


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